


Road Trip

by kohakuyume94



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adopted Children, Adoption, BAMF Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto), KakaYama - Freeform, KakaYama Week 2018, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 09:15:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14565816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kohakuyume94/pseuds/kohakuyume94
Summary: Kakashi and Tenzo have their hands full with their four adopted children, but of course, things always get a little more insane when piled together in a van on a road trip!





	Road Trip

“Suitcases?”

“Check.”

“Phone chargers?”

“Check.”

“Drink cooler and snack bag?”

“Check, and check.”

“Tenzo, everything is in the car - you packed it yourself,” Kakashi groaned, glancing up from the very thorough printed list, stapled to the top of what was sure to be an even more thorough vacation itinerary.

“We’ll know for sure once we finish the check list. What’s next?”

Kakashi sighed, “One fine-ass piece of man candy.”

“Kakashi!”

“What? That’s what it says,” The silver-haired man defended, flipping the clipboard around to reveal his penciled in addition with a smirk. “See? One fine-ass piece of man candy. Go get in the car, and I’ll check it off the list.”

It was at this moment that one of their adopted bundle, Sasuke, made his way between the parenting team and into the van. Being the broodiest of the bunch, dark clothed, ever-scowling, he refused to blush at the coarse joking between his dads, and instead offered a judgmental, “nice,” as he passed through.

“Ah, yes,” Kakashi continued, straightening up. “The most important items on the list - four real-live, uncaged teens, being forced on an educational family road-trip at the start of their summer vacation.”

Tenzo scoffed, “You’re making it sound lame! I worked very hard to ensure this trip will be fun for everyone!”

“It will likely be a little lame, but also fun, too,” Sai chimed in, the eldest of the teens, ever the socially-awkward and wide-smiling. He climbed in the back seat with Sasuke, who then immediately pulled out his headphones to ward off conversation. Sakura flitted in next, adding that she thought it was going to be a spectacular trip, and that she couldn’t wait to see everything that was planned. Lastly, bursting out of the house, backpack stuffed bigger than his own body, their wild child, Naruto bound down the driveway and shoved his way into the van, all the while sing-shouting, “Road-trip! Road-trip! Road-trip!”

They’d adopted the brood of them several years back. Originally, the thought was to adopt one child, having been together for ages, and married a handful of years as well, they decided the time was right to grow their family. But, they quickly found their hearts stretched beyond capacity upon meeting potential candidates for adoption. Being introduced to the agency’s “trio of terror,” as they were called, both Kakashi and Tenzo knew in an instant, without even sharing a word or glance, those three children were inseparable, and they were their's. Naruto, and Sasuke, who’d been recently orphaned, and Sakura, who’d been born into the system.

It wasn’t until a few years later that Sai joined the family as well. Tenzo’s Uncle had never been one to spare the bottle, or the rod. Shortly after meeting Kakashi in grade school, and realizing that what he’d been enduring was in fact abuse, Tenzo was able to cut off relations and avoid seeing his Uncle. The same could not be said for many other suffering extensions of the family. Sai came to be as a love-child of the latest girlfriend. Neither Tenzo, nor Kakashi had met him or even known he’d existed - but one letter from a long-lost aunt that Tenzo’s uncle was finally to rot in prison for his crimes, and that his thirteen-year-old son was to be turned over to the system, and that was all it took - Sai joined, and completed, their messy mosaic of a family.

Two years later, and off they went on vacation together.

Kakashi smiled, looking to his husband and concluding, “Well, that’s the lot of them. You ready to hit the road, my love?”

The brunette returned the smile, leaning in and glancing a last time over his clipboard.

“Wait, we’re missing the second fine-ass piece of man candy.”

He reached down and gave Kakashi a solid pinch.

“Oh, wait. There it is. Okay, yes, we can go now.”

Off and on their way, the kids chattered and fussed amongst themselves, getting settled with their backpacks and buckling down for the long trip ahead. Sakura buried herself in a book after losing signal on her phone. Sai worked away in his sketch book, un-phased by the challenge of bumps and twists in the road. Naruto found himself briefly enthralled with some kind of fighting video game before his battery quickly died away, the teen having forgotten to charge it the night before. And Sasuke remained lost in the rage of his headphones and the sight of the passing countryside out the window.

However, not an hour in, and it started.

“Are we there yet?” Naruto whined. “I’m bored!”

Kakashi did not look up from the road, nor did Tenzo look up from his clipboard.

“We won’t be there until around eight o’clock at night. It is now eleven o’clock in the morning. Please, do try and pace yourself, Naruto,” Tenzo lightly ordered.

“Why not play a game, or something?” Kakashi suggested. “I-Spy is a classic.”

A groan answered him from the insatiable blonde boy.

“The quiet game is also an option,” Sasuke mumbled from the back.

“Ooh!” Sai chimed in. “The quiet game! I’m bad at that one.”

“Clearly, Sakura observed with the roll of her eyes. “Let’s do I-spy. I like that one, and I’ve got something. I spy, with my little eye, something blue!”

Tenzo hummed as the thought, searching over the car. “Is it Sasuke’s sweatshirt?”

“Sasuke, I told you no sweatshirts during summer,” Kakashi scolded, glancing in the rear-view mirror.

“I’m not hot.” The teen smarted from the back.

“I don’t your back-talk, Sasuke. You suffered a heat stroke at the amusement park last year. Sweatshirt off,” Kakashi ordered. “Now.”

“I’m not wearing a shirt underneath!” Sasuke snapped.

Frustrated disbelief ran a hand over his father’s face. “Really?”

“Yes, really...”

“Watch your tone, young man,” Tenzo warned. “You can change at our first rest stop.”

Both dad’s pretended not to hear the muttered “whatever,” that snuck out as the final word from the boy, and instead turned their attention back to their daughter, who baited again for someone to guess her “something blue.”

“I have a guess, Sakura!” Naruto shouted enthusiastically.

“Ooh, ooh! What do you think?”

A devious smile swept over the blonde’s face as he reared back an arm and asked, “is it a blue _punch_ -buggy?!?”

He of course, punctuated his question with a smack to his sister’s arm.

“No punch-backs! No punch-backs!”

Though she cried out in shock and pain, Sakura, never being one to take a kick laying down, quickly retaliated with a punch far more brutal, and the guttural shout of, “No, but now I spy something _purple_!!”

“Enough!” The dads demanded simultaneously.

“He started it!” - “I said no punch-backs!”

“And we said, _enough_ ,” Tenzo concluded firmly.

“Both of you apologize to each other,” Kakashi ordered. “And Naruto, ‘no punch-backs’ is a coward’s rule. If you’re going to throw a punch, you better be prepared to receive one in return. Now, everyone settle down, or, I mean it, we will turn this van around right now and go home.”

The car sighed, a grumpy air settling through the children.

“Alright,” Tenzo started, attempted to break some sunshine through their little gray cloud. “I spy with my little eye, something brown.”

Surly silence answered him.

“Is no one going to guess my something brown?”

“I have to use the restroom.”

Kakashi glanced back in the rear view mirror to his eldest. “Sai, it’s barely been over an hour. Didn’t you go before we left?”

“I didn’t have to go then,” Sai shrugged.

Flipping through his itinerary, Tenzo answered. “Well, our first rest stop isn’t supposed to be for another sixty miles. Do you think you can hold out?”

“Sixty miles?!” Naruto exclaimed. “That’s so far!”

“You have to pee too?” Kakashi asked, dumbfounded.

“No, I was just wanting to get some food wherever we stopped.”

Tenzo lifted a hand to still his exasperated husband, stepping in and addressing their over-zealous son. “Naruto, I packed snacks for you all. Have some of those for now, okay?”

At this, Sakura perked up from her book and began rifling through the cooler at her feet. “Ooh, snacks!”

“Sakura,” Sai called from the back seat. “Can you hand me a tea?”

“Sakura?” Sasuke echoed low and muffled. “Can I also have a tea, please? Thanks...”

For a moment, the kids seemed to settle, tearing into drinks and pre-proportioned snacks, happily munching to themselves.

In the brief calm, Kakashi turned to his husband and asked, “When’s my exit coming up?”

“Soon. I’ll tell you when. It’s number 42.”

The calm broke with a discontent shout from the back.

“All these snacks are stupid!”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Naruto, just because snacks are healthy doesn’t mean they’re stupid.”

“No one is going to even try to guess what I spy that’s brown?” Tenzo asked, trying again to smooth over the bickering of his his children.

Kakashi bit, only to be quickly interrupted, “Is it-“

“Guys, I really have to use the restroom.”

“Sai,” Tenzo gently corrected. “Please don’t interrupt your father. We’ll stop as soon as we see something.”

“Why are you drinking more tea if you have to pee?” Sakura questioned. “And Naruto - why the _hell_ are you eating ramen out of a thermos?”

“Language...” Tenzo objected from the front, Kakashi then stepping in to address their new concern.

“Naruto, where on earth did you get a thermos of ramen? And what could possibly make you think you’d be allowed to eat it in a moving car?”

“Okay, our exit is coming up on the right, dear,” Tenzo notified his rather distracted driver.

“I made it this morning as a car-snack.” Naruto explained. “I moved it from the foam cup to a thermos - why can’t I eat it in the car?”

At this time, Sasuke found fit to chime in with his own critique of his brother’s foolishness. “Why’d you complain about being hungry if you had a thermos of ramen this whole time?”

“I wanted to save it for a pre-nap, post-lunch snack!” Naruto retorted much louder than he needed to, a mess of noodles trailing out of his mouth.

“I’m pretty sure Sasuke isn’t actually listening to anything in his earphones, and is just pretending to so he can ignore what he wants and interject when he wants.” Sai noted rather matter-of-factly.

“No, I- _holy shit_! What the fuck, _Sai_?!

Sasuke was quickly unbuckled and scrambling out of the backseat, tumbling up and over the side of his brother to the commanding chorus of both father’s condemnation.

“ _Language_!!”

The correction didn’t reach anyone behind them, as Naruto fussed and squealed under the surprise tackle.

“Ah, Sasuke! You’re making me spill my ramen!”

“Get back in your seat and seatbelt right now, young man!” Kakashi bellowed, missing the light tug on his shoulder and reminder in his ear.

“Kakashi, honey, the exit”

“Sai is freaking _peeing in a bottle_ back here!” Sasuke announced over the frenzy, Sai yelling back in what he felt was justified explanation, “I told you, I had to go to the bathroom!”

At this, Sakura exploded in a whine over her brothers, “Naruto - you dropped noodles all over my backpack!”

“Why are you yelling at me?! Sasuke is the one in my lap!”

“Sai is the one who whipped it out in the back seat!”

“ _Shut up_!” Kakashi roared in an attempt to control the madness. “Sasuke - get off your brother’s lap and buckle back up this instant! Naruto - put a lid on the freaking ramen! Sakura - just help pick up the noodles! And Sai - for the love of god - put your dick back in your pants!!”

“Kakashi!” Tenzo urged.

“I know, I know - ‘language’!”

“Kakashi, no, _the exit_!!”

A mumbled slur of expletives exploded out of the frazzled driver as he snapped both hands tight to the wheel and whipped their van across four lanes of traffic to the scream of about a dozen honking horns and terrified outbursts of his children.

He didn’t make the exit.

Instead, the van screeched to a halt in the emergency shoulder just passed the sign for exit 42.

In a furious grunt, Kakashi slammed his hands down on the wheel, heavy pants huffing out of him and the rest of the vehicle’s passengers.

After a beat, shame reddened his chest and cheeks.

“Is everyone okay?”

Quick nods from children with wide, scared eyes answered him. Flicking the hazard lights on, and shifting into park, Kakashi leaned his forehead defeated on the steering wheel, his husband’s hand reaching over to give a sympathetic squeeze to his thigh.

“I’m sorry. I let my temper get the best of me, and that wasn’t okay. Forgive me?”

The nods answered him again, anxious breaths calming down from all.

“Did ramen burn anybody?” Tenzo asked, peering around to the back.

“No,” Naruto replied, arms still wound around the brother in his lap, acting as his seatbelt. “I think most of it spilled out on Sakura’s backpack...”

“Good... I mean, not good. But...” Kakashi fumbled in response. “Sai, did we spill a bottle of urine in the back?”

A soft “no sir,” floated up in response.

“Did we put our penis back in our pants?”

“Yes,” Sai confessed. “But I’m not going to lie, I think chugging that whole thing of tea so I could use the bottle as a toilet is making me have to pee again now.”

A soft chuckle found its way out of Kakashi. “We’ll back up, take our exit and find a gas stop ... clean everything up, too.”

The tension in the van began to ease, each passenger beginning to find a bit of humor in the absurdity of it all.

“I spy, with my little eye,” Tenzo sighed. “Something imperfect...”

For a moment, the van stayed quiet, until, mumbled and broody as ever, Sasuke asked, “Is it also dysfunctional?”

“Mm, sometimes.”

Grinning, Kakashi offered, “Is it also wonderful?”

“Very,” his husband affirmed.

The pair locked eyes.

“Is it full of misfit puzzle pieces?”

“The best kind.”

From the back, Sakura softly inquired, “Is it still going on vacation?”

“Oh, of course,” her father assured. “Its’ best vacation yet.”

“Is it going to get more snacks at the rest stop?” Naruto prodded, hoping to take advantage of so many positive responses.

Instead, Tenzo met his question with another, “Does it still have snacks in the car?”

“Yes...”

“Then, no.”

“Is it perfect in its’ imperfection?” Kakashi asked.

“Completely.”

Each of the original trio took their turns asking more, the excitement and sweetness of the simple game sweeping them up in its’ deep, warm significance.

“Is it full of love and loyalty?”

“Happiness and laughter?”

“Acceptance and understanding?”

“Yes,” their father promised. “And so much more.”

Outstretching a hand to brush over his husband’s, Kakashi asked in earnest, “Is it so much more than we dreamed it would be, my love?”

Their eyes met again, along with the trade of understanding smiles, a lifetime of struggle and heartache melting behind them there in a parked van on the side of the highway.

“Infinitely.”

Softly, and finally, from the back seat, Sai asked with a sparkle in his eyes and a break in his voice, “Is it us?”

“Yes, my precious family....” Tenzo confirmed, taking his husband’s hand lifting it up for a gentle kiss before turning back to look over his beaming children. “It is us.”


End file.
